Geocaching at Tamanawa Falls

September 14, 2009

One of the reasons I love Geocaching so much is that it takes me to so many beautiful places. Last weekend I went caching with my Dad, his girlfriend and my 8-year-old brother. We did a 3-mile roundtrip hike on the Eastern side of Mt. Hood. Here are the grainy camera phone photos I took while I was there. Just imagine how much more beautiful these photos would have been if I’d had a nice camera:

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My grizzliness is awesome

September 3, 2009

This morning a behind the scenes look of our workplace went up on YouTube. Since FailBlog is one of the top channels on YouTube, the video has been featured on the front page, guaranteeing that thousands of people will see it in the first day and probably millions by the end of the month.

Having read many of the comments on the YouTube page and on the Fail Blog page, I would like to respond to some of them:

sad part is that people pay thousands of dollars and spend years in college, just to end up doing this. life is stupid.
I have to explain to my parents every day why I’m working at a Web site that doesn’t sell anything. It helps that we have merch now, but they still just don’t get it. It’s a lot better than most jobs I’ve had though and at least I’m not unemployed like my brothers.

“Wtf, Was that guy on the far left of that table working without a shirt?”
Correct, I took off my shirt for the video in order to show off my favorite sweater.

How does the gene for the hairy back get passed on in this day and age. If I were a female there would be no way I would have “relations” with a hairy-backed male.
Do you remember the 80′s at all? Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, and David Hasselhoff were heroes. The girls who were kids in the 80′s, worshiping at the alter of masculinity are all growed up now. Guess who fills those shoes.

hairy-montage

When i was watching i was like, did that guy have his shirt off? no.. Yes, and it was creepy.
Why is it creepy? Have you ever just hung out with your shirt off? So refreshing and liberating. Besides, I’m comfortable with my body. I love being me… shirtless. As soon as it gets warm outside in the spring, the shirtless-Sunday season starts. I’ve gone days without wearing one.
If I were fit like Brad Pitt or George Clooney, sitting there shirtless, would you still be creeped out?

sassmo-hairy-montage

wow, its bigger than i thought
Thank you ;)

That place is a mess.
By “a mess” did you mean totally awesome? Did you see Quato, my deformed panda?

quato

Picture is Unrelated…

c/o ThatWillBuffOut.com

I’ll save that drama for another day…

September 2, 2009

I have a pretty big gripe that’s been brewing between my roommate and I for the past few months, but I’d like to stew on it for at least another day, so instead there’s this amazing video:

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhxK2IOywVE]

And today’s…

Picture is Unrelated

c/o Ugliest Tattoos

The beatings will continue until moral improves

September 1, 2009

When I was growing up my Stepdad would tell me how lucky I had it when getting disciplined. According to him, his Mom used to give him a pair of scissors and send him out into the field behind their house to pick a willow switch.

Picking a willow switch looked something like this...

Picking a willow switch looked something like this...

When he returned, she would judge the length of time it took him to retrieve the branch, the girth of the branch he chose, and the severity of punishment he deserved. Then she would swat his ass with that branch for how many ever strokes she deemed him worthy. Apparently this continued with less and less frequency whenever he needed discipline well into his teen years. Even as he got older and stronger, he knew that if he smarted off or resisted Mom during these beatings that he would have to answer to Dad.

Even though I hated my Stepdad as a kid, as an adult I look back on those times and realize he meant right and that he’s the most responsible, funny, well-adjusted person I know. He also loved his mother dearly until the day she passed about 10 years ago. There are still things that shake him up when he’s reminded of her. Her discipline did not effect his love for her.

Those stories were usually enough to scare me into being a good kid, although on occasion I remember getting my ass swatted. Even though I got spanked a handful of times I turned out to be a pretty decent individual – I have a job, I’m self-sufficient, I live on my own and I’m a law abiding citizen.

My Grandmother still gives kids a light tap on the ass when they don’t behave. It works wonders on my cousin’s kids and other children that come for a visit. They’ll come over, run amok for about an hour, and then Grandma will grab them by the shoulder, whip them around and give them just a little swat on the backside. I’ve never seen a better attitude adjuster in all my life.

Grandma’s spanks are the equivalent of a football player ass-pat, but that look of surprise is one that could only be achieved by a kid that’s never been physically disciplined in their life. The spankings are usually followed by a few sniffles, some deep contemplation, and finally, a well-adjusted child that behaves.

spanking

So, what’s so wrong with an ass-swatting here and there? Why don’t parents discipline their kids anymore? In moderation I don’t see any problem with it. What’s other people’s take on it?

Picture Is Unrelated…

Waterskiing Elephants!
c/o Picture Is Unrelated

What’s in a name?

August 27, 2009

Where do internet nicknames come from? And why do I have three of them?

When Nanny Goats in Panties recently asked why my blog is named Sassmo’s Blog, my posts are signed by Donkephant, and my comments are signed Grizzly Kitteh, it left me contemplating my own online existence.

When I joined the I Can Has Cheezburger team in January of 2008, I met Happy Cat, Tofu Burger, and a handful of other similarly nicknamed coworkers. It seemed only fitting that I adopt a persona for work purposes, thus Grizzly Kitteh was born.

Soon after my arrival, Happy Cat requested I spearhead a new project, which turned out to be Pundit Kitchen. Given PK’s highly political nature and a need for a neutral figure to watch over it, I donned the nickname Donkephant as well.

Sassmo has been with me the longest though, originating on Christmas Day, 2002. It’s the moniker I use most often online and somewhat offline, including @Sassmo on Twitter. The name originated with this guy:

Me, circa early 2003, teaching a tour group of pre-schoolers about KTUH, the University of Hawai‘i's college radio station.

Me, circa early 2003, teaching a tour group of pre-schoolers about KTUH, the University of Hawai‘i at Manoa college radio station

Christmas Eve 2002 I spent the night partying until the wee hours with an apartment full of Brazilians in pajamas, followed by a rather messy session of downhill skateboarding before I finally made it to bed.

Three hours later (Christmas morning, 8am) – bruised, bloodied, and still intoxicated – I reported for my first day of training at KTUH, my college’s radio station.

Ari, the station manager and my trainer, helped select jazz records to play for the next 3 hours. I didn’t know much about jazz, so my first day consisted of almost entirely The Charlie Brown Christmas album and Louis Armstrong.

Before I went on air, Ari insisted that I have a cool DJ name. My roommates, Cassiano and Chas, frequently called me Sassafrasquatch. Combined with my lack of better ideas due to post-party grogginess, and my budding fondness for Louis “Satchmo” Armstrong, a name was born.

As Sassmo, I was the host of three different radio shows on KTUH, over the span of 3 years – The Sassmo Jazz Show w/ Stoney Hawk, The Hootenanny Hoedown, and The Beast With Two Backs. I also worked a handful of director positions and as Interim General Manager.

Even though I’ve done some great things before and since, KTUH will be one of the most cherished times of my life, and thus the name Sassmo will stick with me forever.

So, even though Grizzly Kitteh and Donkephant have become part of my online persona, it’s been hard to separate myself from my job and the two worlds have spilled into each other.

Since part of job description actually entails interacting with our users and being a brand ambassador to the world of BlogHer and the people that encompass that corner of the internet, I’ve grappled with the question of whether or not I should be Sassmo or Grizzly Kitteh. Do I keep the professional name? Or do I be as genuine as possible and post as the guy who runs around half naked and calls it a fundraiser?

Do I know everything?

August 17, 2009

My roommate works at a kayak shop in Bellevue and gave me the opportunity to do some kayak geocaching in the Mercer Slough. I decided to take a sprinter since they’re fast and I’m familiar with them after our last kayaking trip.

My roommate and her coworker both asked if I was sure I wanted to take the Sprinter, but I was confident I could handle the faster, more tipsy, less stable kayak. About the time I passed under the I-90 overpass, I hit water that looked something like this:

Grossness in the slough

The problem with the Sprinter is it has holes in the seat to allow quick drainage. That means you’re always sitting in a puddle of whatever water you’re in. I suddenly realized that my confidence in handling the Sprinter had blinded me to the knowledge they were trying to impart on me when the asked, “Are you SURE you want to take the Sprinter?” They knew exactly what the water was like and that I’d be sitting in a puddle of it.

And so it goes, this is how a lot of my experiences wind up – I act confident and gung-ho, only to miss the experience and knowledge of others who could impart wisdom on me if only I’d listen.

On a brighter note, showing a couple of small town folk, including my Dad, around Seattle on the weekend of Hempfest was a fun experience. “Oh my God, I smell marijuana!” was a common expression from the four of them. They also didn’t know what to think about all of the stoned, painted, marijuana-loving, (NSFW) Naked, freaks wandering around Hempfest.

NES games versus real life

August 14, 2009

I tried to continue the Saga of Kahn, however, I found it hard not to use Game Genie. I’ll still continue to play, but I’ve moved on and probably won’t be blogging about it anymore.
Wandering the landscape looking for experience and gold makes the game incredibly slow and tedious. As a kid I always used the “Almost Infinite Gold” Game Genie code to speed up the game so that later levels were a challenge and doing that now proved to be too much of a time-suck again this time.
Instead I’ve moved onto Bard’s Tale, which I was too impatient to play as a kid and am finding out now that even though I enjoy it, I can’t commit to more than a few dungeon crawls at a time.
Instead I’ll be focusing on things like improving my performance at work and improving my overall health.

Saga of Khan: My Quest to beat the original Final Fantasy

July 31, 2009

As a kid, the original Final Fantasy was one of my all-time favorite games. Recently, I discovered a copy of Final Fantasy. I started playing and soon realized that I still remember much of the tactics and storyline of the game.

I decided that I would traverse the game without any of the guides, Game Genie codes, maps or cheat sheets that I had growing up. This time, it would be just me and the game. Thus was born…

SAGA-OF-KAHN

Tonight, my elite team of Final Fantasy characters were born.

Kahn

Kahn is the name I almost always chose for my Fighter as a kid – it felt only fitting to name my quest after him. He will be the champion of this quest, leading me to victory!
Kahn’s first pieces of equipment are an Iron Hammer for weapon and chain armor. He would have gotten a rapier, however, I bought the iron for another character who couldn’t equip it. Already I’m running into issues with not having the guides…

Alf

To commemorate the era in my life when I was most actively playing the game, I chose the name Alf. This quest will be long and hard without all of the monster guides, maps and stored knowledge of the game that I had as a kid. Alf the white mage will assist with healing and reviving our heroes on this long, hard journey.
Alf’s first weapon is a wooden staff and his first armor is cloth. He probably won’t get an upgrade for some time, since the early stage weapons and armor suck for mages. This means not only will his magic be useless unless someone needs healed, he’ll also be useless for attacking…

Tim

Staving off hoards will be much easier with Tim the Enchanter. No team would be complete without a character versed in the dark arts. I chose a black mage over red because I remember being annoyed as a kid when my red mage’s power either with weaponry or magic would stagnate in the later stages of the game.
Tim also received cloth for armor. I felt that he would be best utilized for magic, so I skipped getting him a weapon and instead bought him a fire spell and a lightning spell.

Yarf

I’m not sure why I made Yarf a thief, other than that I remember hating the black belts and always felt it was too easy to progress through the game with another mage or fighter. Yarf was bestowed his title since every team needs a guy with a silly name.
Yarf originally received the iron hammer as a weapon, but thieves can’t use them (at least not this early in the game), but luckily he could equip Kahn’s rapier and vice versa. I almost bought him some armor but thought better of it and had him try on Kahn’s chain, which he couldn’t equip. Instead he starts with some cloth.

Beginning the Game:

I remember having to walk north to save a princess. That’s my first goal, but first supplies.

As soon as I ventured a distance from the Castle, I realized that Tim would need more than just his magic. He only has 2 spells and can’t punch worth shit, so he can only get in 1 or 2 fights before he becomes totally worthless. Back to the castle. Tim gets a dagger.

Tonight my heroes stay at level 2. Tomorrow night, the quest continues.

Sassmo’s Mamasota Pizza Recipe (Vegetarian)

July 31, 2009

By Sassmo

This recipe looks fairly complicated, but it’s actually really simple. There’s so many steps because I included information on how to multitask and utilize your time to make this recipe as quickly and easily as possible.

Time to completion:
45 minutes to 1 hour depending on how well you multi-task

Feeds:
3-5 people

Estimated cost:
$6-$25 depending on how many of the smaller ingredients you have laying around. If you buy most of the ingredients, you’ll have lots of leftover ingredients for future use.

Kitchen supplies needed:
• Oven
• 14″-16″ pizza sheet or 16-inch baking sheet
• Small sauce pan
• Large bowl for mixing
• Large, dry, flat surface to roll dough
• Sharp knife
• A Timer
• Cheese Grater (only needed if you don’t buy pre-shredded cheese package)
• Pizza cutter (or use the sharp knife)

Ingredients:
• Jiffy Pizza Crust Mix
• 1 Medium-sized tomato
• 1/3 Cup of mushrooms
• 1/2 Cup of onion
• 1/2 Cup of shredded Mozzarella Cheese
• 1/2 Cup of the chef’s choice of shredded cheese (Mozzarella, Cheddar, Pepper Jack, etc.)
• 1/4 Cup of Feta Cheese
• 1/2 of an avocado
• 1/4 Cup of Pine-nuts
• 1 Packet of Knorr Creamy Pesto sauce (can be substituted with any pesto or creamy pesto sauce)
• 1 Cup of Milk (for Knorr Creamy Pesto sauce)
• 1/4 Cup of Olive Oil (for Knorr Creamy Pesto sauce)
• 1 Cup of all-purpose flour to use while kneading the dough
• Pam cooking spray

Preparation:
Step 1. Start cooking the Knorr Creamy Pesto sauce according to the instructions on the back. Multi-tasker: Begin Step 2.

Step 2. While you wait for the creamy pesto to boil and thicken: shred the cheese; cut the tomato vertically into thin rounds; thinly slice the mushrooms vertically; cut the onions into long strips. Keep an eye on the Creamy Pesto so it doesn’t burn. Multi-tasker: Begin Step 3.

Step 3. Check the creamy pesto. When it thickens, remove it from heat. Mix the Jiffy Pizza Crust Mix according to the package. Stir until it begins to clump and get gooey, set it aside and cover it. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Turn the oven to bake at 425 degrees Fahrenheit.

Step 4. Finish chopping vegetable and shredding cheese. After the dough has set for at least 5 minutes, liberally sprinkle flour over the large dry, flat surface that you plan to knead the dough (this reduces the amount the dough sticks to the surface). Sprinkle a few pinches of flour over the dough and roll it a bit in the bowl (this helps reduce the amount that it sticks to your hands). If it’s still super sticky, add another pinch until it’s not. Put the dough on the flat surface and knead it several times – flatten it out with your hands and fold it over on itself while continuing to add flour so it only sticks to itself.

Step 5. Grease the pan with the Pam spray and then put the dough in the middle of the pan. Massage the out until it’s evenly spread into the pan. If it tears, simply massage thicker areas back towards the tear until the dough sticks back together.

Step 6. Put the dough into the oven for about 1 or 2 minutes to set the dough.

Step 7. After you take the dough out, spread about half of the creamy pesto over the crust with a spoon.

Step 8. Sprinkle the Feta cheese over the pizza. Then, using a spoon like a knife, spoon long slices of avocado out and evenly distribute them onto the pizza. Then layer the sliced tomatoes, sliced onions, mushrooms, and pine-nuts onto the pizza. Finely, add the other cheese.

Step 9. Put the pizza in the oven and set the timer for 17 minutes. When the timer goes off, check the pizza. Remove the pizza when the crust starts to brown, or for a crispier crust, leave it in for 1-2 minutes longer.

Step 10. Let cool for 5 minutes. Trust me, it’s going to be hot and you’re going to burn your mouth if you don’t give it at least 5 minutes to cool off. Serve and enjoy.


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